“ 1. Yes
2. Yes, in everyday life I do feel worried about what people might say or think. At times I have felt I should act like my Caucasian friends because I already look different, so I don’t want to give people another reason to single me out.
3. Yes, sometimes I feel happy with who I am and almost forget I am different but then I’ll be reminded by a dirty look or comment made. I do not believe we are equal – we are judged before we even utter a word. My peers walk into a room and no one questions why they are there. People stereotype you; they act like they already know you.
4. Yes, people either think I am too sensitive or that I have no right to talk about it because I am half Irish, half Chinese. You feel invalidated and like you don’t have the opportunity to talk about the topic because who will listen? Being half creates this identity crisis – you are caught between the two sides of yourself, never really knowing where you fit in. People in public and at school only see me as being Chinese whilst my Asian family see us as less Asian because we don’t speak Chinese. I do worry others will shame me for my stance and I rarely talk about my race or the racism I have experienced because I feel like people will not understand or that they’ll think my feelings are not valid.
5. Yes, a lot, racism particularly towards the Asian community has heightened. In school people have said ‘Oh stay away from her, she’ll give you COVID’ or have shouted ‘bat eater’ at me. One of my friends would receive dirty looks on the train or people would move away from her. It’s like we are a disease – you feel excluded and, in a way, ashamed. The pandemic has given people a reason or excuse to be racist – ‘they caused the pandemic so we can say all this’ sort of mentality. In their eyes, it is justified. This behaviour was always there but the pandemic has made people more vocal.
6. No, I don’t feel like I can speak up. I don’t know if standing up would result in consequences, more that nothing would come of it and it would potentially draw more attention to the fact I am different. I usually just block the comments out, but it can build up and become hard to ignore.
7. Not one event sticks out to me if I’m honest. Racism can be subtle, ‘casual racism’, it is micro aggressions. It’s asking “Where are you really from?” or telling me that my English is so good for a Chinese person. It is like a constant hum in the background – sometimes you forget it’s there but other times it’s really loud. It can be lonely and damaging especially when you’re growing up. The comments I’ve heard I will carry with me.
8. Yes definitely, being mixed race, it can be hard to know where you fit in. People know I am mixed or Chinese right away so you learn pretty quickly whether they see/treat you differently compared to others. I think people only see me for the part that is different. I like my race and Asian culture, but you do feel alone and ashamed when people see your differences as a negative and single you out.
9. Yes, I do, when people ask me where I am from I used to tell them my ethnicity/background right away rather than Belfast because majority of the time that’s what they were really asking. No, my answer doesn’t make others treat me differently because they know I am Asian as soon as they see me; it is not something I can hide.
10. I have and it made me feel better in the sense that I felt I was accepted but also worse in the sense that the sense of belonging was superficial, I didn’t truly belong or feel understood. It’s not about ‘the right way to live’, it is about doing what you need to do to get by. It is not easy to be open about your background and culture, sometimes you have no choice but to suppress it. ”
2. Yes, in everyday life I do feel worried about what people might say or think. At times I have felt I should act like my Caucasian friends because I already look different, so I don’t want to give people another reason to single me out.
3. Yes, sometimes I feel happy with who I am and almost forget I am different but then I’ll be reminded by a dirty look or comment made. I do not believe we are equal – we are judged before we even utter a word. My peers walk into a room and no one questions why they are there. People stereotype you; they act like they already know you.
4. Yes, people either think I am too sensitive or that I have no right to talk about it because I am half Irish, half Chinese. You feel invalidated and like you don’t have the opportunity to talk about the topic because who will listen? Being half creates this identity crisis – you are caught between the two sides of yourself, never really knowing where you fit in. People in public and at school only see me as being Chinese whilst my Asian family see us as less Asian because we don’t speak Chinese. I do worry others will shame me for my stance and I rarely talk about my race or the racism I have experienced because I feel like people will not understand or that they’ll think my feelings are not valid.
5. Yes, a lot, racism particularly towards the Asian community has heightened. In school people have said ‘Oh stay away from her, she’ll give you COVID’ or have shouted ‘bat eater’ at me. One of my friends would receive dirty looks on the train or people would move away from her. It’s like we are a disease – you feel excluded and, in a way, ashamed. The pandemic has given people a reason or excuse to be racist – ‘they caused the pandemic so we can say all this’ sort of mentality. In their eyes, it is justified. This behaviour was always there but the pandemic has made people more vocal.
6. No, I don’t feel like I can speak up. I don’t know if standing up would result in consequences, more that nothing would come of it and it would potentially draw more attention to the fact I am different. I usually just block the comments out, but it can build up and become hard to ignore.
7. Not one event sticks out to me if I’m honest. Racism can be subtle, ‘casual racism’, it is micro aggressions. It’s asking “Where are you really from?” or telling me that my English is so good for a Chinese person. It is like a constant hum in the background – sometimes you forget it’s there but other times it’s really loud. It can be lonely and damaging especially when you’re growing up. The comments I’ve heard I will carry with me.
8. Yes definitely, being mixed race, it can be hard to know where you fit in. People know I am mixed or Chinese right away so you learn pretty quickly whether they see/treat you differently compared to others. I think people only see me for the part that is different. I like my race and Asian culture, but you do feel alone and ashamed when people see your differences as a negative and single you out.
9. Yes, I do, when people ask me where I am from I used to tell them my ethnicity/background right away rather than Belfast because majority of the time that’s what they were really asking. No, my answer doesn’t make others treat me differently because they know I am Asian as soon as they see me; it is not something I can hide.
10. I have and it made me feel better in the sense that I felt I was accepted but also worse in the sense that the sense of belonging was superficial, I didn’t truly belong or feel understood. It’s not about ‘the right way to live’, it is about doing what you need to do to get by. It is not easy to be open about your background and culture, sometimes you have no choice but to suppress it. ”